Have you ever seen someone before they have their first baby? It is time of optimism, fantasy and, a bit of fear. Every veteran mother must get a good laugh when they talk to moms-to-be. One of mother natures best cosmic joke and source of entertainment for those already in the tribe. My campaign promises were as delusional as an American politician on an ego trip; I was going to finish a degree on-line, study German, launch a blog about traveling/motherhood, fit back into those skinny jeans and, take care of a newborn. Anyone getting a good laugh? Notice that taking care of the unborn baby was at the bottom of the list. Like many first-timers; the amount of time, energy and, emotions a six pound human takes was drastically underestimated on all accounts. The new goals are as follows: be a good mommy, ditch the on-line classes and skinny jeans, keep up with German lessons (barely), try to leave the house and, write fifteen minutes a day. While my dedication to the art of writing was starting to fade faster than red lipstick once worn when showers happen regularly; the determination to write on the world wide web is still going strong! Even though my husband insist that whatever object he is currently looking for is worth every bit of attention nothing will stop me now! Until the crying begins; who knew husbands could be louder than a train of thought?
A bald headed bundle of joy is a game changer. Mine is six weeks old. One does not know at this level when regular sleep, sex and, social life will appear again (if ever). This must be what they call “baby blues”. A phycologist classify my condition as “bitch be trippin”. Since her prescription to my problems was to relax and not do so much. She was obviously not an American and doubt of her expertise started to shadow into my mind when she sent me back into the world without any pills to curb anxiety. Something about creating a new life with the person I love makes me want to punch him in the face. Just to sure he knew for certain how much it sucked to get off the hormonal crazy train. When a woman has a new baby it becomes the only interesting topic about her. One could be a rocket scientist or Beyonce and if they could only ask one question it would be “How is the baby is doing?”. The truth, taking care of alcoholics is great training for motherhood; proving that time spent in bars before babies is not a complete waste. A bottle, white noise and, someone to snuggle with is all an infant/alcoholic really wants out of life. Babies will break a person down to size. They do not care about accomplishments, money in the piggy bank or, that faint smell of spit-up every new mom wears like perfume. This is why a mother’s love is unconditional through temper tantrums, bad hair days and, unimaginable labor pains. When your newborn baby looks deep into your eyes it all becomes worth every effort.